Rough Cut 3 with Feedback (UPDATED)

This is my 3rd rough cut.
From here i only intend on making small changes such as cutting shots and adding already filmed shots due to time constraints.



The feedback i got from this, i've collected from a few new medias,
1. Youtube - I uploaded the video on there and gained a few comments.
2. Facebook - i embedded it from youtube and got a few comments on the post as well as through a online chat service provided by Facebook.

I have screenshotted the comments below as well as copied and pasted a conversation i had regarding feedback.

The Purple are my comments and the Blue is the person who gave me feedback

okie

keep the shower noise going

the bit where im whipping my hair- you cant tell that its a dream

just looks like im randomly doing it

maybe like lighten the settings or sorta change the frame its in (not sure if you can do it) like maybe fade some of the edges out

umm you'd best ask a media student cos im not v good at it

22:34

Yeah, if i fade in or out it may work better

you're doing better then everyone else at the moment

22:34

like make it more obvious that it's not actually happening

and it goes a bit fast into normal so i got a bit like whuuut

i like the switches between me and edwin better in this one

looks more flowing

and at the end you cant really hear nick but idk if you can do anything

22:35

yeahh the ending a bit wierd, im gunna fiddle about with that

22:38

its mroe flowing on this one. but i like the edwin staying still and those things suddenly popping up

it doesnt look as good on this one :s

22:38

yeahh i know what you mean

22:39

the alarms louder at the beginning then fades down

is it meant to do that?

22:41

No, its because the alarm was playing on the title from the last one, i just need it to match to the current alarm

22:41

aahh right :)

yeah maybe make the sound a little less crackly? cos you can tell when the scene changes with sound sometimes

22:43

Yeahh thats something i can't change very well, its due to the cameraa

22:43

oh well. crack it in the evaluation

you know the idea of music is like it's being played in the film?

should it stop when the ipod goes? but it still sounds good through the vid :)

22:46

i liked at first the idea of it being on the ipods but i didnt like the shots and didnt think it worked too well, a problem though now is that the song is too short for the film

22:47

oh noes. maybe then fade it out after the hair whip. could be seen as like the music stops when edwin snaps back into reality??

or can you edit like part of the guitar into the end?